This week saw the death of Mitch Mitchell, former drummer with the legendary Jimi Hendrix Experience, and the last surviving member of said band. Following his death, at the premature age of sixty-one or something like that, rumours are now rife that the Jimi Hendrix Experience were cursed by a gypsy in 1968, and that this curse was to be the cause of the deaths of all three band members over a 38-year period.

Hendrix, as everyone knows, fucking snuffed it in September, 1970, in mysterious circumstances. Having downed three bottles of wine, smoked several dozen joints of marijuana, taken half a bottle of sleeping pills and done at least five tabs of whizz, Hendrix went to sleep and choked on his own vomit. Just 33 years later, in 2003, bassist Noel Redding also died at the premature age of 57 when, after almost forty years of drinking heavily on a daily basis, his liver bizarrely packed in for no apparent reason.

Following the death of Mitch Mitchell this week, the curse would now appear to have come true. Former Jimi Hendrix Experience manager Chas Chandler, 84, told the Daily Telegraph: "I remember once, when we were touring the West Country, a gypsy knocked on the dressing room door before our set. She asked if Jimi or any of the other lads would buy some pegs off her, and when Jimi told her to go and fuck herself, she put a curse on them. I can't remember exactly what she said, but it was something to do with them all dying soon if they weren't careful and didn't buy some pegs. Or dishcloths. When Noel grabbed her and punched her in the tits, she screamed that they would all die then and it would serve them all right. Now that Mitch has gone and fucking snuffed it, you could say that she was right."

Mitchell's widow, some old slag, refused to comment on his death, apart from saying that she was having all his royalties and anyone who said she wasn't could get to cunt and back.